Be Nice

I’m no Mike Ross, but I have the memory of a dolphin. Did you know dolphins can remember their friends even after 20 years? There are things that infant amnesia hasn’t touched, stuff from my childhood that seem like they just happened yesterday. I have these snippets of my childhood that just got superglued to my hippocampus. They sit there like a rock in a stream, never moving, never getting erased, getting smoother and harder as I grow older. 

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Bring on the Lemons

Olive sat across the gynecologist’s chair as he gave her the results of her ultra-sound. Like all gyna’s offices, his was predominantly white. Various diagrams of the human reproductive system hang on the wall. She sat there, recounting the torturous periods she had been enduring since she was a teenager.

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What do you want to know about sex?

“One day, I decided to have THE sex talk with my teenage son. I got him alone and said, “I’d like us to talk about sex.” He looked at me straight in the eye and asked, “What do you want to know about sex, dad?””

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Photo credits: Dainis Graveris

That’s a story a motivational speaker told us when we were in high school. His name was Prof. Kadoka. He told us that he was a neurosurgeon. He was the closest thing to Ben Carson that we encountered.

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How to survive the baby witching hour

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When my baby was younger, I experienced something ‘strange’. Every day, at around 6 pm, she would start fussing. She’d just get restless and cry herself hoarse.

Unknown to me, what we were experiencing is called the witching hour.

The witching hour was like a hangnail. It drained all life and joy out of my first days of motherhood. I often was on the brink of tears. Exhausted like a donkey in Mwea.

At those time I felt like auctioning her off to the highest bidder. But I was sure none of you wanted a screaming beauty.

So we braved on. Everyday. It was like waiting to visit the dentist. You know what’s coming and you can’t prevent it.  I got so used to it that I didn’t even notice when it stopped. But I dreaded it!

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Parenting with a microphone – why I need to stop shouting at my kids.

If you hope to get children one day, you should rehearse your conversations with them often. You can practice with a stone, they produce the same response.

Before I had kids, I swore to never shout at my kids. I visualized myself sitting them down for some little ‘adult’ talk about their undesirable behaviour. My speech would be smooth and chocolaty even. I was to be the calm and composed mother: the one who doesn’t lose her cool in the supermarket when they are screaming for candy and chocolate; then one who bends down to their kid’s eye level to avoid looking like an intimidating mammoth.

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A mother’s Phone Call

It’s 9:02 AM. Miss. T and I have just dropped Miss. Z to school and we’re now back in the house. The heat here feels like the sun came to whisper something in our ears and then forgot what it was. So it’s hovering around scratching it’s head. And did I mention it’s 9:02 in the morning?

Miss. T is generating some other heat of her own with a tantrum the size of a mini tornado. I can’t believe such a tiny being has lungs this powerful! If the Malaysian plane hasn’t been found yet, I can bet you my yesterday’s Chapati that it’s in her lungs!

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Instant delights: Baking a cake in the microwave

It’s way past midnight. I’m the only soul that’s awake in my house, my office hours start at 10 PM. I’m in the guest bedroom, which used to be the baby’s room but the fan in here is undecided; it rotates like a footballer’s warming up session: Sprint, stop, sprint, stop.

I’m getting hungrier by the minute. Every word I write seems to get an ounce of glucose out of me. This article ought to be sweeter than Ezekiel’s scroll. The curtain is pink and peach, with images of Mickey Mouse smiling at me. I forgot to remove it when I switched the babies’ room. It reminds me of ice-cream which is not helping with my glucose situation.

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Zawadi Has a Boyfriend, And I’m a Horrible Mom

 

Today I felt like a horrible mom.

And this is not because I let my one and a half year old pick pop-corns from the floor and eat – which I have done. Albendazole is only fifty shillings, why should I lose my sanity and ear drums because of fifty shillings? Eat away, Miss. T, we will de-worm later.

This is also not because I dozed off in the middle of Miss. Z’s incessant interrogation.

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I LOVE EVIL

We love to be tickled. Humor has been a great ingredient for happiness, even taking a higher seat in the arena of cures than drugs – laughter is the BEST medicine, remember? Ask anyone who’s in love what makes them love, you’ll hear a common answer; he makes me laugh!  If you’ve been looking for love but aren’t so lucky, maybe you should evaluate your sense of humor – or lack of it.

EVIL CUP

No one knows that better than the film industry, especially the one whose target audience are children. While many producers have come up with films and animations to make our children laugh, we need to wake up to the realization that they also have an agenda. And it’s not an agenda for good or godliness. Far from it.

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THIS IS THE HARDEST JOB ON EARTH

Some jobs are hard! Imagine pushing a mkokoteni from Kongowea to Likoni Ferry (For those in Nairobi, this is like from Githurai to Muthurwa!) in the scorching heat, barefoot with no shirt on. By the way, we should form a commission of inquiry to investigate why they are always on bare feet and shirtless. The sweat flowing freely on the shirtless backs making them shine so bright, I swear you can see your reflection! And these ones need no gym to get them abs. They just form. But if you think this or ferrying stones in construction site is the hardest job on earth, you haven’t trying being hairdresser to a one and a half-year-old!

It’s 9.00 am. We have just finished a whole hour session  of begging, threatening, athletics, hide and seek and we have finally managed to finish two bars of weetabix. Where is the gold medal? We heat water in the microwave — because my electric kettle blew it’s fuse and gas is expensive and has a very very bad habit of breathing it’s last just when you have put on the onions for making food for visitors who have just called to say they are on the way. The microwave and the rice cooker are the best life savers in the kitchen. If you didn’t know you can cook almost anything (except ugali, of course) on the rice cooker. You  can even boil cereals and bake cakes on the rice cooker!

So, we microwave the water and get ready for the bath. But there is on little problem — the hair is still in the ‘matuta lines’ that mama professionally made. They need to be removed. So mama arms herself with an afro-comb and starts the process of unbraidng hair. This little Miss Sensitive does not want to feel any pulling and tagging on her hair. So she keeps looking up to see what mama is doing to her hair. I tell you it is very hard to undo hair when someone is bending over backwards to look up at you.

So madam hairdresser has to think fast. I gather a few pegs and throw them in the bath water. Threat temporarily neutralized! I get working fast and furious. This little miss has a very short attention span, something I can’t dare fault her for since she got it from me. After a while, the hair and massage pro is done undoing the hair. The air is shampooed and we finish the bath and start to get dry.

Once dressed, it’s time to do the hair again. Sometime I just let it stay for a week after undoing it to let it breath. I end up with a mess that can’t be combed. This girls hair is tough, my people. Do you know those short tough as nails plants that are used as brooms when dry? In Kikuyu I hear they are called Mahinga. That is Bobo’s hair. This one she got from my dad, no doubt!

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Miss I-want-my-space has vowed to make my work very hard this time round. I touch her hair and she looks up , bending over backwards again and says a series of vowels that I pretend to understand. I nod and say yes. She looks down and I do the first braid — yeeh! I secure it at the top with a rubber band and advance on to conquer the next territory.

She stands up and starts to clap! I join in and then feign play-mode before gently putting her down again to continue with the braiding. She is restless so I bring play things — a torch (That light always amuses her) an open jar of aqueous cream (we use it because she has eczema). I even pour the rubber bands on the bed to amuse her. She loses interest in the torch after three minutes and turns to opening and closing the cream. I hear this is a stage — opening and closing stuff.

We do a few braids while she is pre-occupied with the cream. I’m white all over as she is trying to be a masseuse. She is getting sleepy and sleepy always means restlessness and scratching! Why do babies scratch when sleepy? After what seems like an eternity, I’m almost done. But there is a patch of marginalized area at the back of the head that always requires utmost care to avoid pulling. This one will have to wait. Miss Pretty needs to sleep.

She blacks out almost immediately. I’m tired and sweating, my fingers are aching from the strain. Right now, I think pushing a mkokoteni is easier!

My Daughter, You Shall Have No Freedom of Worship

Someone said something this week that left me thinking very hard, wondering what I want my kids to praise me for when they are old enough to know that mommy could have been wrong, actually. Right now, mommy is never wrong. She wears a thousand caps — doctor,night nurse, Guidance and Counselor,protector from the monsters when there is black-out, swimming coach (well, that is really daddy’s), voice coach and milk dispenser.

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For All Fed-Up Mothers and The Naysayers

 

I’m hoping a mother somewhere can relate to this. It makes me so glad to share an experience happening in my house and then hear another mother say, :Oh, that happens in my house too!” It gives me such comfort to know that my family’s weirdness is at a socially acceptable level.

I’m elated to know it’s not just my daughter who has abandoned her toys for pegs and sufurias; that my husband is in good company when he can’t locate anything in the house even after searching for 76 seconds; that my DM is human after all when she leaves without notice and shows up after a week.

But did you know there is a new breed of people who will almost never see anything right with the way you are bringing up your child? It’s always, “Don’t do that,”

“Do this”

“How could you do that?”

“You should Never do that!”

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If I got a penny for every time I have been told how wrong I’m bringing up my baby, I would be living in the presidential suite in Kempisnski. It’s either I’m allowing her to sleep too early or too late or I don’t have a fixed feeding schedule that is why she is a fussy feeder. There are people who will always have an explanation for why your baby is being a baby. She is being a baby because she is a baby. PERIOD.

All babies are different, donge? It is wrong to expect my baby to grow up exactly the way yours did. That is the lesson I have had to learn silently and practice. I will not put my baby under pressure to perform to anybody’s imagined level of growth. Being a mom is learning to make your own decisions,God made you a mom because He knew you could handle it.

My baby girl’s cord took 17 days to drop. I had heard that cords drop after three days or thereabout. So day three came and went  and the cord was still firmly planted on her belly. I comforted myself that it will drop the following day. Day 5 and 6 and 7 came and this thing was not dropping.

That is when you start googling, “after how many days should my baby’s cord drop”. And then google tells me ‘at least 7 days’. I went on a calling rampage, from my mother to her pediatrician. After 17 days, it dropped. I found it lying neatly on her belly when I went to change her diaper.

That ordeal taught me many things, but one stood out. This baby is her on person, she will develop the way her body tells her to. As longs as I’m feeding her properly and keeping her safe and healthy, she will be o.k. She will achieve her milestones at her own pace. And we will not even go into the weighty issue of baby’s weight! That is a heavy matter!

So now when she is still staggering in her walking at 15 months while her ‘agemates’ were stable at 12 months or even less, I feel no pressure at all. I chose instead to see how she has grown so smart, climbing and descending on all surfaces unaided. I choose to see her teeth that are germinating every day, she even has two molars!

I also choose not to ever tell another mother, “Mtoto amechelewa…”

Hakuna cha mtoto kuchelewa! Mothers are hardworking, multi-tasking, sleep deprived machines… umm,..sorry..human beings who need a break they never get. You know you have become a machine when you dose off in the weirdest of places and when going to the toilet is actually a holiday!

So be nice to mothers, give one a hug today. Don’t be judgmental and see all the things she is doing wrong. She is trying all she can to keep that little baby happy and healthy and also keep herself sane.

Happy Easter Y’all!! 🙂

A Mother’s Miracle

20141210_110838 It’s six months already! Six months since that beautiful morning when I was wheeled into a theater, with tears in my eyes and a prayer in my heart. Six months since I lay on that cold bed (why are theaters so cold?) and recited Psalm 23 just before the anesthetist knocked me out! Six months ago, I entered a room as just a pregnant woman and 30 minutes later I came out a mother. That morning was a concoction of emotion: tears, pain, in-explainable anxiety and finally expressible joy.

There was also a tinge of disappointment. You see, I had done all I could to make sure I get my baby the normal way. I exercised a lot, I walked for kilometers each day,I drank gallons of water, I tried to keep fit and to eat less salt (this was the hardest of all, i’m a ‘salt-holic’ :).

When my scan showed my baby was getting fatigued, I was so scared. And then the scares turned to fear and frustration. The night before we went to hospital, I sat at the balcony and cried a river! I just felt like I had somewhat failed my baby. We were admitted to hospital the following day so that labor could be induced.

I had heard the scariest of stories about induced labor. Horrific images were painted in my mind and the pain described as insane! So the inducing process started and I waited for the pain of the century — nothing happened! They thought something was wrong so more drugs were pumped into my system intravenously — nothing happened! I still think they were giving me Sprite!

More than 24 hours later, I was still waiting for the said pain, I think it didn’t get the memo. I was frustrated beyond description — believe me! I guess when your mind is made up and you are anticipating something as glorious as a baby, even the absence of pain is not a relief, it’s a disappointment! I cried my heart out again, cried because I couldn’t feel the pain that was to usher my bundle of joy into this world!

On the morning of the CS, everything seemed normal; until the nurse showed up to check for the baby’s heartbeat and it was missing! Missing? What? If we were talking about a bunch of keys or even a cell phone, I would understand. But a heartbeat, my baby’s heart beat was missing! Where the Hague was it? Just like that, a simple exercise turned into an emergency! We were now running helter-skelter trying to reach the theater  in the shortest time. I just wanted them to give me a knife, I would have removed her myself!

That 10 seconds trip to the theater was the longest journey I have ever traveled. I cried all the way there, praying for the slightest movement that would tell me that my baby was gonna be fine. I slipped into unconsciousness as I recited Psalm 23 — and this time it wasn’t for me. It was for the tiny soul inside my belly whose heart was already giving up, yet she hadn’t even seen the light of day.

I woke up with only one question in my mind; is my baby o.k? The gyna assured me, and even excitedly told me that I had a baby girl. I was not relieved until I saw her. And as much as I did not have the strength to hold her, I tried to put her tiny hands into mine. We had traveled the road to delivery, and we were both alive!

It was two weeks before Christmas and we couldn’t think of a better gift. We called her Zawadi! 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

Confessions of a Pregnant Dad

We praise the Lord for the blessing of baby boy! Mom and baby are doing well, dad is recovering!

That is a text message a friend of ours sent us a while ago after their baby was born.It was hilarious then just as it is now! I just can never forget that message, and I kept wondering what exactly the dad was recovering from! That is until I asked my husband exactly how it feels to be a pregnant dad. You know, we are so focused on the woman and her growing tummy that comes with growing problems every month until we forget that behind every pregnant woman, is an equally pregnant man whose troubles and needs are invisible but equally important.

The Way to a Man’s Heart

As we have been told, the way to a man’s heart is through the stomach. One of the things that catches the guy totally off-guard is a change in his diet since he cannot anticipate what his now pregnant will hate or love in her food.

In my first trimester, I was crazy about kachumbari! I would go out to buy bread and come back with onions, tomatoes and dhania — especially dhania! I just loved the smell of dhania in my food! Food was not food if there was no dhania in it. So one day Kamana decides to add dhania to the food as he was helping me cook! Shock on him! Even unknown to me, I had gone past the dhania stage. It was a miracle the food didn’t end up in the dust bin! You should have seen the look on his face!

I have always loved ugali! We ate ugali in our home 6 days in a week! That is until I woke up one day and ugali tasted like dry sponge! It was struck off our menu pronto! Sometime I would make my own favorite and then cook him his ugali. I didn’t know how bad this was for my husband until he confessed to me last week that he actually misses his ugali! Thank God I can stand the smell of ugali, but the hubby is not so lucky with meat! If meat is cooked in our house, I retreat to the bedroom or take a hike. He will have to wait a few more weeks before he enjoys a good plate of fried meat! But I have tried to make a few chapatis for the poor guy after I realized he was beginning to have chapati deficiency symptoms! Ask the wives, they know these symptoms!

Buying chapati flour every time, talking about chapati half the time, a meal in a hotel is not complete without chapati, whatever it is; attempting to make chapati on their own… yeah! The full blown chapati deficiency syndrome!

The fear of unknown

confused Pregnant dads have to deal with stuff even they don’t know, such as his wife’s moods. One day she is all over you, totally elated and in love with you like a love struck teenager. Then the next day she doesn’t even want to catch a whiff of you in the house! Or she is curled up in her duvet sniffing away the tears and the guy has no idea what he did or didn’t do!

This really used to confuse my husband. And then i’d feel worse if he doesn’t act the way I would want him to — like give me a hug or make me a cup of hot something. But the problem is I wouldn’t say what I really want. I don’t even know exactly what I want half the time anyway! So, relax guys. You are not the problem, blame the hormones!

Girls, please, differentiate between hormones and bad manners! I know of a pregnant girl who has banned all visitors from their home! They were quite the social couple since they were involved in church activities. Now the poor guy has to keep wading off people who want to come visit them and he has no real reason. It has placed them in a very bad position in church and it’s not fun! Did I mention that she has banned all cooking in their house as well! And when he brings food from outside, it sometimes is thrown away! Sad!

The pregnant man is also worried about how the delivery will be; will his wife be safe? Will he be able to give her everything she and the baby need? My husband recently gave me an African proverb that summarized for  me where his priorities were if he is ever to chose between his wife and his baby. As much as we are hoping and praying that it will never come to that, it gave me a glimpse of what really goes on in his mind when he slips into his nothing box. He said he would not break the pot while trying to save the water. Enough said!

Unfamiliar Territories

There is also a radical change in roles that plunges the man into very unfamiliar territories — like the kitchen! I know i’m a lucky girl because my hubby can whip up a meal that would shame a few chefs. He is quite comfortable around a cooker. That said, let it not be assumed that the man should automatically take over the kitchen once the wife bites the bullet. I made the mistake of getting too comfortable when I realized that the man can actually chop an onion without sending us into the emergency room that I forgot that the kitchen was still my department!

He had to jolt me back to the real unpregnant world by confessing he hates it when he has to decide what’s for dinner! So now I have to make sure at least I know what we should be eating and even if i’m not able to make it, he will feel he is helping his pregnant wife, not being turned into a mboch!

The Fun Part

It’s not all gloom for the dads — they are even the more excited than the moms! My husband loves to feel the baby kick and he has accompanied me to the clinics for scans and doctor’s appointments! It’s just a wonder for him as he watches his wife change every waking day and he seems to be enjoying the changes a little too much!

When my tummy started too show, he would hold his tummy and start singing, ‘katumbo, katumbo‘ to me! I hated it, but he seemed to enjoy seeing me grow a ‘potbelly’, and this time there is nothing I could do about it! He still thinks my round tummy looks really good — maybe because it comes with a fuller bust 😉 ?

The thought that he will be a dad soon too is just incredible! I guess that is every man’s dream. So now he is into talking to his ‘son’, and all. I guess he even has started shopping for a school for ‘him’. You see, we have placed a wager. I think it’s a girl, he thinks it’s a boy. By the way, you are all free to choose sides! The ‘winners’ will be called to a celebration hosted by the ‘losers!’ :). At the end of the day, all I want is a healthy baby!

It’s a great thing to be a pregnant mom, but let’s not forget the dads too! Give one a hug today and tell him, ‘Kudos!” And buy him this T-shirt!

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And All The Parents Say…

ka bible I have been thinking lately — why should we be parents? Why should the Lord grant us such a hefty responsibility. Another human being, complete with his/her own mind and life and ambitions and all, given to us to nurture. To watch over and direct as they grow to be their own person. It is such a huge responsibility, the thought of what it entails is just scary.

I’m reminded of some parents I read about. After a miraculous experience that left all their neighbors and all who heard about them shocked and amazed, they were given a responsibility to pass it on to the generations after them. People needed to know just how majestic and powerful their God was.

With the clearest of instructions, they were told to

“Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Write them on the door-frames of your houses and on your gates, so that your days and the days of your children may be many in the land the Lord swore to give your ancestors, as many as the days that the heavens are above the earth.” Deuteronomy 11:18-19.

That sounds easy, right? All they needed to do was make sure that they talk about them and about Him, ALL THE TIME. Paint them on their houses just in case they forgot to talk about them in the hustle and bustle of life. At least, the children would read them as they go in and out of their house.

And then, a few books later, we read,

“After that whole generation had been gathered to their ancestors, another generation grew up who knew neither the Lord nor what he had done for Israel.” Judges 2:10

Now, what happened here? A people who had been strictly instructed to teach their children every time, everywhere ended up with generation after them that did not know God and what He had done for Israel.

Methinks there was a set of parents who broke the chain; who refused to teach their children what God had done for Israel, who took it for granted that the children needed to know. There were people who refused to do their homework, and this time, it was the parents.

And see what happened.

“Then the Israelites did evil in the eyes of the Lord and served the Baals. They forsook the Lord, the God of their ancestors, who had brought them out of Egypt. They followed and worshiped various gods of the peoples around them. They aroused the Lord’s anger because they forsook him and served Baal and the Ashtoreths.” Judges 2:12

And then things got worse,

“In his anger against Israel the Lord gave them into the hands of raiders who plundered them. He sold them into the hands of their enemies all around, whom they were no longer able to resist. Whenever Israel went out to fight, the hand of the Lord was against them to defeat them, just as he had sworn to them. They were in great distress.” Judges 2:14-15

Oh, how much distress they would have been saved if only they obeyed. If only the parents who had seen it all and heard it all had been faithful with the instructions. If only they had taught their children all the things they needed to. Maybe the children would have disobeyed, anyway, but at least they would have disobeyed, though knowing. Now, what we hear is a people who did not know God nor what he had not done. Tragic.

And this season, as we await our first born, i’m reminded just how much we need to be diligent in teaching him/her about God. For that to happen, we need to make sure that our walk with God too  is straight. We need to be open to learn from Him daily since there will be little people following us.

As it is, if we will get another human being only to add to hell, why should we get one? And what does God expect?

“Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth.” Malachi 2:15

And all the parents say,

SO HELP US GOD! 

Pregnant? You Need This!

This journey has been really interesting until I almost don’t want it to be over. I have had a few low moments (unexplained mood swings and unbelievable fatigue) and some high moments. As I try to be an optimist, which I rarely am, by the way, I will share the good moments with you — if only to put a smile on my face. (Selfish right? I know!)

1.  A Good Outfit

By good I mean fitting. By fitting I mean just being loose and tight in all the right places. One of the worst mistakes I made when I started expanding was buying bigger clothes. I forgot it’s not every part of my body that was growing, so I ended up looking fat, not pregnant. I later learnt my mistake and went to shop and got all the right tops and trousers — i’m still not a dress person so those are yet to catch up with the bump :). Remember, you are not ugly, you are not fat, you are just pregnant! Look good, feel good!

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2. A Good Doctor

One of my nightmares was getting a know-it-all doctor who didn’t understand that this is my first baby. I’m having lot of questions, most of them silly. I have many fears, many of them unfounded. I have heard many myths and old wives’ tales about many things. I want to know what will happen if I eat too many eggs. Should I have a specific way of turning when I sleep? Can I ride on a bodaboda? Why i’m I not growing as a big as I initially thought? Is it o.k to have no appetite and can I sue my husband if he ever refuses to massage my swollen feet?

Well, I got a good doctor who listens to me and is patient with me. He is not young which means he has no point to prove. He is just a good one, and he calls me mami :). I like!

3. Big Sisters

My big sisters are my second doctor, and it helps that they actually are medics and moms. They listens to my rantings and fears and calms all of them. They tell me all those things I know my doctor doesn’t have a clue of. They have been pregnant so their old wives’ tales actually do work! My elder sisters has to approve anything my doctor prescribes, otherwise, I’m not taking them. I know I said I have a good doctor, but, people, he has never been pregnant!

I think I should start paying them a consultants fee or something. Thanks Lillian and Carol. You are the bestest!

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4. A Mother’s visit and A sister in-law

If there ever is a time a girl needs her mom, it’s when she is pregnant! Mom is the only person who will ‘woyie woyie’ you as you deserve — or as you desire. There are times when you just need someone to feel you, in the only way a mom can. Many times I have called my mom when i’m the brink of tears and she has no idea, and I just want to hear her talk.

She is the only one who still sees you as ‘my baby’ when to the world, you are a grown woman who is even bearing her own children and so you deserve little sympathy. To her, i’m still her last born. When she visits, like now, she almost wants to carry me on her back!

A sister in law is the one who sees you as she sees herself. You two are married to brothers so she understands any frustrations you may have with the hubby — because she is living with his photocopy in her house! And when she visits, you will not lift a finger! Thank You Kellen Wanja!

5. A Supportive Husband

This point cannot be over emphasized! Thank you Ben!

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A Note to My Daughter…

Dear daughter,

I have looked at the world today and i’m slowly getting convinced that by the time you are a teenager, your generation will never know if some things were ever wrong and utterly sinful.

And so, pretty girl, since God has given me a responsibility to bring you up in His knowledge, I will tell you the truth as it is, and although you are still in God’s mind right now, when you are here, these things will still hold true. It may be many years from today, and I may seem old-fashioned, but God’s word and truth are ageless.

1. Money isn’t everything

I know by now, this one is the slogan in your generation. As long as it pays and pays well, do it. So you will see your friends pose naked for skin lotions and star in x-rated movies just for the money. You will see them enter into relationships with men thrice their age and destroy homes just because they are young and pretty and there is good money involved. You will see worse things, these people keep inventing new ways of sinning, I don’t know what else they might invent in your time.

But honey, I gotta tell you one thing; you have your honor and dignity to defend. You need to do things today that will make sure you don’t lose face before your own kids years from now. Life goes beyond now, do things that will please God, things that will benefit humanity and if all you will ever consider is the money, remember my words today, Money isn’t everything!

2.  Not Everyone is ‘Doing It’

This one is a classic. People, and especially your peers will lure you into irresponsible behavior with the assumption that everyone is ‘doing it’. ‘It’ could be anything from premarital, irresponsible sex to drug abuse.

The truth is, not everyone is doing it! And I definitely expect you to be in the ‘not doing it’ bracket. You will look weird and sometime out of place for being different and having admirable principles, but you will be the enviable one. Soberness, virginity and good dressing are morals that will never lose value. Keep them, no matter what everyone else around you is doing.

Keep your feet firmly planted on God, and do not do anything I wouldn’t do :). O.k, I know I got carried away there, I am not the standard, so do not do anything God would frown upon. I know we live in an imperfect world and we slip at times, but don’t stay down. IF you slip, wake up, repent, dust yourself and keep walking on the straight,narrow path.

3. God’s Word Doesn’t Change to Suit Your Comfort 

You might not believe it but some people today have tried to fit God into a box that they are comfortable with. Many things that are sinful and wrong are slowly being accepted as we create our own all-inclusive non-discriminating God.

Do you know homosexuality is a sin before God? What? They have told you that God is not homophobic? Oh, I knew it! That is why this note to you was so important. I knew a time would come and you wouldn’t know that some things used to be sin!

I will add, God’s word doesn’t change. Please honor God, don’t go around referring to Him with his initials. Like J.C! If you can’t even refer to your own dad Benard Kamana as B.K, why should you call God with his initials? Honor God, love Him and all will be well.

4. Your Worth is Immeasurable 

I have seen girls in this day and age feeling and acting worthless. They end up doing many unthinkable things and bring so much grief to themselves and others. Like that one who contracted HIV in a bid to feel loved or the many who go to painful lengths to feel accepted.

I will tell you today, my dear girl, that you are of immense value to God, to us and to many others who love you. You will once in a while feel like you are not measuring up to expectations and social standards but that is because you are only human.

You are beautiful, you are smart and your worth cannot be summed up in a blog post. Do not do crazy things to try and prove anything to anyone especially if it lowers your dignity and self worth.

And finally, dear daughter; live your life for the Lord. Many things will pass happen, but when all is said and done, the only thing that will matter is, ‘Did you live your life for God?’