Would You Carry My Handbag and other Relationship Questions

What exactly do people look for in a marriage partner? I thought this is the type of question that would elicit unanimous answers. That was until I heard a girl on a dating reality show ask an all important question: would you carry your girl friend’s handbag? Really?

It is of utmost importance to ask the relevant questions before we decide to get into a relationship. Girls, we need to look beyond the face value of things and the things that we see on Telemundo and get to the real deal breakers of a relationship and eventually, a marriage. And whatever we look out for, make sure it is sustainable — my husband’s advice.

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So, in all honesty, how is knowing whether a guy would carry your handbag or not disqualify him from your list. How many days will you need to have your handbag carried? What we need to ask and look out for is a person who is caring, kind, patient and ready to protect, provide and pray for you.

I sought to ask a few single godly girls what’s the most important question they would ask the men who showed interests in them. The answers were amazing — some hilariously so. A number of things was also common among them and I thought it’d be great to share with you what they said. And no, they have not been arranged on the order of importance.

1. Where do you see yourself in ____ years?

This is to gauge where you fit in his dream and whether or not  he has any vision. You also need to know if his vision is one that you would not mind supporting. However, you need to remember that there are a few men who may not be letter for letter clear on what their vision is. Gauge them intelligently and do not dismiss a man simply because he hasn’t written a proposal yet about his future. Some just don’t know how to express themselves as eloquently as they would desire.

2. Why me? (This can be preceded by a fake surprise,’hayia! 🙂

So, of all the girls he has met in all the places he has been in all the places he has been, why did he think you are ‘the one’? I know many will say they have prayed to the Lord and he has shown them that you are the one, but please men, if you didn’t pray, don’t lie to the girl that you did. And girls, if he tells you he heard the Lord, you too go and hear the Lord for yourself. Don’t be too gullible!

3. Where is this leading/What do you want out of this?

It really hurts me when I see people in High School and Primary school dating — if that can be called dating at all. I mean, you have like 10 years before you think of marriage, what business do you have dating? Contrary to what you may think, there is never dating for the sake of dating. Every person you date takes a piece of your heart. So if you keep getting in and out of relationships, when you finally meet ‘the one’, you’ll genuinely tell them you love them with the whole of your heart, and that will be like half of your heart.

When you start dating, make sure you are ready for marriage so that your dating will be purposeful and meaningful. Make sure you and your partner are in agreement about the relative time period for your dating. Otherwise we end up seeing a couple who are soon disagreeing about whether you want to get married or not. And with time,one party gets tired and soon ‘moves on’ to a more ready person.

There is the ultimate non-negotiable: How is their relationship with God? As one lovely couple told us, where you end up in eternity is most likely the same place your spouse will end up. Make sure you get someone who  will encourage you towards heaven 🙂

What else should we look out for in a relationship? Let’s talk.