We are told all the time what men need to be comfortable in a relationship — Submission, constant praise and appreciation and cheering him on in is dreams. A man needs to have his ego massaged and told how he is the most wonderful thing since Thika Super Highway. He needs to know his wife thinks of him as superman and Romeo all wrapped in one package. And we strive to do all that to make our men happy.
But who tells the men what the women need? Do they have the slightest clue what makes us tick? Before we got married, a couple we love and trust encouraged us to write down our expectations. My first on the list was emotional support. And that comes in many ways. So, guys, I will give you a few clues, and here is to hoping we will have more satisfied wives and girlfriends from now onwards :).
All you have heard about flowers and chocolate is actually true. But it’s never about the flowers and the chocolate, it’s about the thought that led to the flowers and the chocolate. We are thrilled to know you value us and you think about us the whole day. We are happy to know that the gift you bought is not a bribe for the time you have spent away from us or a way of blinding us to your philandering ways. The gift is an outward expression of the value you have placed on us, which is more valuable than the gift.
So, if you treat your lady like someone gave her to you on offer, and them come home with pitiful little flowers, do not be amused if they end up in the trash. Because those little gifts are supposed to come from a heart that clearly values us and makes us know we are the treasure of your heart. And how do we measure value?
A woman feeds on words. That is why things she hears can make her or break her. Most of the women I see on The Ultimate Challenge – Weight Loss Edition show on KTN say they were jolted to reality about their weighty matter of their weight by something someone said to them. Or about them. And no matter what a woman tells you, we all care what people say. Some of us just choose to think less of them and move on with life but we all care about words.
And this is most pronounced when it’s coming from the one person we care most about. We want to hear how we are the hottest thing on earth although we know deep down we are several points lower than Keisha of Single Girls. We want to hear how much you love her cooking even if we present you with burnt offerings for dinner. The more you are nice to us, the better we strive to become.
You can tell a woman whose husband praises her. She is confident and walks with her held held high. Women are all encouraged to be like the proverbs 31 woman but I keep wondering if the men read all the verses of that chapter. I’m talking about the verse that talks about the man praising her.
Prov 31: 29 Her children arise and call her blessed;her husband also, and he praises her:“Many women do noble things,but you surpass them all.”
We love to be praised. Please do that more often. We love to have emotional support as much as we give you all the support you crave.
A hug is one thing that you cannot give without receiving. And we love to be hugged in as much equal measure as you love sex. A husband’s hugs is more than just two hands across each other. It’s the greatest sharing of unspeakable emotions and comfort that only the ‘huggee’ can tell. When my husband hugs me, I feel like I’m surfing on the Indian ocean. Never mind that I can barely float on water.
When we are angry — even angry at you — we need a hug. When we are happy, we need a hug. When we are sad and moody, we need a hug. When we are teary and we cant even tell why, we need a hug. A hug is the one things that says you do not hold our emotions against us. And especially when we are pregnant we need hugs. Lots of them.
A godly man is a treasure because of many reasons, but my top on the list is, he will love you with love he has tapped from the best — God himself! I know many girls have said before that believers make the worst boyfriends, at least I have been told that by a few girls but I tell you they make the best husbands. If you want someone to take you out drinking every Friday, you will be disappointed.
But if you are looking for a man who will love you with all he has because he is not just accountable to you and your parents but to God himself, get a godly man. And we love men who are devoted to God because we know they can only love us as we deserve as long as they love God with all sincerity. So men, Love God. We love it when you love God.
But if there is one things that makes no sense at all, is a man who neglects his family in the name of serving God. Your family is your first service to God.
Oh, we need many other things but we can start with these 🙂