A Note to My Daughter…

Dear daughter,

I have looked at the world today and i’m slowly getting convinced that by the time you are a teenager, your generation will never know if some things were ever wrong and utterly sinful.

And so, pretty girl, since God has given me a responsibility to bring you up in His knowledge, I will tell you the truth as it is, and although you are still in God’s mind right now, when you are here, these things will still hold true. It may be many years from today, and I may seem old-fashioned, but God’s word and truth are ageless.

1. Money isn’t everything

I know by now, this one is the slogan in your generation. As long as it pays and pays well, do it. So you will see your friends pose naked for skin lotions and star in x-rated movies just for the money. You will see them enter into relationships with men thrice their age and destroy homes just because they are young and pretty and there is good money involved. You will see worse things, these people keep inventing new ways of sinning, I don’t know what else they might invent in your time.

But honey, I gotta tell you one thing; you have your honor and dignity to defend. You need to do things today that will make sure you don’t lose face before your own kids years from now. Life goes beyond now, do things that will please God, things that will benefit humanity and if all you will ever consider is the money, remember my words today, Money isn’t everything!

2.  Not Everyone is ‘Doing It’

This one is a classic. People, and especially your peers will lure you into irresponsible behavior with the assumption that everyone is ‘doing it’. ‘It’ could be anything from premarital, irresponsible sex to drug abuse.

The truth is, not everyone is doing it! And I definitely expect you to be in the ‘not doing it’ bracket. You will look weird and sometime out of place for being different and having admirable principles, but you will be the enviable one. Soberness, virginity and good dressing are morals that will never lose value. Keep them, no matter what everyone else around you is doing.

Keep your feet firmly planted on God, and do not do anything I wouldn’t do :). O.k, I know I got carried away there, I am not the standard, so do not do anything God would frown upon. I know we live in an imperfect world and we slip at times, but don’t stay down. IF you slip, wake up, repent, dust yourself and keep walking on the straight,narrow path.

3. God’s Word Doesn’t Change to Suit Your Comfort 

You might not believe it but some people today have tried to fit God into a box that they are comfortable with. Many things that are sinful and wrong are slowly being accepted as we create our own all-inclusive non-discriminating God.

Do you know homosexuality is a sin before God? What? They have told you that God is not homophobic? Oh, I knew it! That is why this note to you was so important. I knew a time would come and you wouldn’t know that some things used to be sin!

I will add, God’s word doesn’t change. Please honor God, don’t go around referring to Him with his initials. Like J.C! If you can’t even refer to your own dad Benard Kamana as B.K, why should you call God with his initials? Honor God, love Him and all will be well.

4. Your Worth is Immeasurable 

I have seen girls in this day and age feeling and acting worthless. They end up doing many unthinkable things and bring so much grief to themselves and others. Like that one who contracted HIV in a bid to feel loved or the many who go to painful lengths to feel accepted.

I will tell you today, my dear girl, that you are of immense value to God, to us and to many others who love you. You will once in a while feel like you are not measuring up to expectations and social standards but that is because you are only human.

You are beautiful, you are smart and your worth cannot be summed up in a blog post. Do not do crazy things to try and prove anything to anyone especially if it lowers your dignity and self worth.

And finally, dear daughter; live your life for the Lord. Many things will pass happen, but when all is said and done, the only thing that will matter is, ‘Did you live your life for God?’

Heroes Wanted

We would do well to heed this one, especially those of us are in the media. Great read!

Pastor M's Blog

heroes1At 2.49pm on April 15th, two hours after the first runners crossed the finish line, the first of two bombs went off just meters away from the finish line of the Boston marathon. The bombs killed 3 people and injured 282. I happened to be visiting the US at the time and with many across the world, my prayers went out to the people of Boston for the trauma, heartache and loss that they experienced. Watching the drama that unfolded for several days afterwards and resulted in the capture of the two brothers who carried out the act, I thought there were several things that I and perhaps my countrymen could learn from the way the Americans responded. 

heroesThe first lesson was how the typically liberal US media regulated itself. Despite the fact that many of the injuries were grievous, involving mutilation, shrapnel wounds and loss of limbs and that the…

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WHEN FOR WORSE IS REALLY BAD…

crazy wife

She plotted to kill him. Not one, not twice…thrice!! She was caught and charged. She was taken to court. And then he forgave her. And they drove home together. That sounds like a Mexican soap opera, but it isn’t. That is the love story of one Mr. Muthee who chose to forgive his murderous wife, Faith. We should call this one, La Mujer De Muthee :).

His wife Faith so wanted him dead that she hired hit men to kill him. All she wanted from him was his money and she made that crystal clear to him ‘before he was killed’. Lucky for him, the hit men turned out to be police officers! Can any plot get any juicier?

That story has elicited a lot of reaction, and many can’t decide if this guy is for real or someone has had him under the spell (read kamuti 🙂 ). But whatever people may say, and whatever reasons he may have given for forgiving her, I think he has expressed the highest level of love – genuine or not.

One quality I always wanted in the guy I would eventually marry, was one who would love me just as Christ did. I know this sounds like a very tall order but (un)fortunately the bible expects nothing less. Men have been instructed to love their wives just as Christ loved the church. Oh, how I wish all men would read and re-read that verse.

How did Christ love?

The big question is, how did Christ love the church? He loved us with all he had while we had nothing. He loved us when we did not in the least deserve it. He loved us, who who eventually put Him on the cross and tauntingly asked him to save Himself. He loved us even when we persecuted him and slaughtered all who were called by His name. He loved us even when we repeatedly denied him to save our skin. He loved us though he knew what kind of people we were, that there was nothing good in us. And he commands husbands to love their wives just like that.

And so, when I think about what Muthee did, this is what comes to mind. I know he said he is forgiving her for the sake of the children. But the fact that he actually considered forgiving her, and actually brought himself to tell the judge that he has chosen to forgive her, and actually drove home with her in the same vehicle – that is the highest demonstration of love.

That marriage may never be the same again. The trust has been crushed and I don’t know if they will ever build it again. The children may live with a bad scar due to what she tried to do to their father. Muthee may not even be genuine, maybe he is plotting something, we do not know. But the fact that he chose to forgive her speaks volumes of what love should be like.

We all need forgiveness. A story is told of one man called Joseph who got into a fight with his father and decided to run away from home. Years later, the father got wind of the town where his son was, so he traveled there, made a huge poster that read, “Come back home, Joseph, I forgive you” and hanged it at the town hall. The following day, more than 1000 Josephs showed up at the town hall. They all needed forgiveness.

Faith, Get Saved!

I keep thinking about Faith. How is she feeling? Remorseful, guilty, overwhelmed, lucky..? I would love to talk to her and give her a piece of my mind. I would tell her to hang onto that man with her last strength. To wash his feet daily and to treat him like the king he is. And to go for counselling for her sanity’s sake. And to get saved to do what Titus 2:4,5 says:

“…young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.…”

What do you think? Share your sentiments about that story.

FOR WOMEN ONLY: How to break your marriage!

In exactly 12 days, it will be 6 years since I walked down the aisle and married my lover and friend. My head is still in the clouds and I still have stars in my eyes but the last six years have been like no other in my life. And so will be the next 75 and more years.

Many things that used to be in theory are now real in my life, and now, I have caught a glimpse of why marriages break. One thing we were warned about is never to make divorce an option in our marriage. If you get in with the idea that if it gets tough you will walk out, then, you will walk out. It may be tomorrow or 50 years from today. The only guard you have is to know and to confess if the going get’s tough, the vows will remain.

I doff my cap for my husband and while we have had quite an interesting start, I think he has done most of the work. All I needed to do was sit still, look pretty and be loved all the way to ever after. Or so I thought. And while I enjoyed his famous breakfast, I have learnt a thing or two on how women can make or break their marriage.

So, Wives(and wanna be’s 🙂 ),  if you want to break your marriage, here are a few steps that I surely hope you will NOT follow.

1. Complain, Complain, Complain

See nothing good in what your man says and does. Complain about the shoes at the door, the socks on the floor, the way he squeezes toothpaste, the way he throws things in the sink without sorting out what needs to go to the dustbin, the way he doesn’t help you take the trash out… Heck! Complain about everything.

When he does something really good and sweet, do not acknowledge it. After all, it’s your duty to be loved and served, right? Wrong. When he helps out with the house chores that are conventionally yours, make it a rule that he does it all the time. Like if he wakes up in a good mood and makes you breakfast ensure that he makes breakfast every day of his married life. You are the princess, aren’t you? Make him serve you the breakfast in bed and do not even say thank you. Complain some more about something irrelevant like the shape of your mosquito net. Just keep complaining!

2. Sulk, sulk, sulk

Someone once told me, silence is a weapon like any other. Use it. Go silent for a week especially if he refuses to do your bidding. Make sure he loudly hears you having a great time with the neighbours and immediately pout when he shows up. If he asks something, look at him with your beautiful round eyes and shrug. Don’t talk to him for weeks and when you do, make sure it is a three-word sentence, utmost. Words like, umm, mmm, No, or some other incoherent thing. You will be doing just fine!

3. Put Him Down Daily

Have you heard the saying that every man is a king and his home is his kingdom? It is true. But for you, marriage breaker, ignore it. Put him down at every possible time and trample on him like he is your doormat. Make him feel small especially in front of other people. Tear his little kingdom apart with every opportunity you get.

There is something called ego. A man will perform in life depending on how well massaged his ego is. A man whose ego is unhurt can climb a mountain, literary. But for your man, madam marriage breaker, crush his ego like dried leaves. Let him know how beneath you he is, and how he doesn’t match up to other men. Rub it in how much he is not yet a CEO, how is not yet driving the best car, living in the best neighbour-hood…crush his very brains to the ground with your words.

4. Deny Him His Conjugal rights

Yeah, sleep in jeans if you must, but don’t let him touch you. Let him earn his space in your life and remind him in every waking moment how unworthy of you he is and sleep with him ONLY as a reward for good behaviour-like buying you the pink Vitz you’ve always wanted.

5. Cheat, Cheat, Cheat

Have you seen that advert on T.V? The one with a woman and a man called Mbugua? Yeah, that one that has given us a choice out of infidelity-include a condom in the cheating plan. Like a condom mends broken homes and hearts?!! Sometimes I think our priorities are really misplaced!

Do exactly what that advert says. Cheat, Cheat and cheat some more. As long as you have included a condom in the cheating plan, you can go ahead and dance the Three Idiots Dance, ‘All izzzz Vell’.  Give stupid excuses when you are busted, cry a river and say it wasn’t you. Don’t worry, cheating will get you where you wanted to be faster than anything else-a broken marriage.

Proverbs 14:1 did well to say, ” The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down”. I feel like adding, ‘with her own words too” since this is our deadliest weapon. Be wise, build your home. You have the power to do it in your hands. Ask the Proverbs 31 chick!

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FOR MEN ONLY: How to break your marriage!

One month ago, I walked down the isle and married my love and friend. I know, my head is still in the clouds and I’ve still got stars in my eyes but the last one month has been like no other in my life. And so will be the next 75 and more years.

Many things that used to be theory are now the real stuff in my life and now, I have caught a glimpse of why marriages break. If all men were like my husband, there would be no divorce around us. I have looked at how he loves and treats me and I know that that is what every girl needs. A caring man and constant emotional assurance. Who else gets breakfast made for them on this side of Sahara? 😉 As Nimrod Taabu quiped in the news last night, “twapenda kupendwa!”

And if you want to break your marriage, here are a few steps that I surely hope you will NOT follow.

1. Do not PRAY FOR YOUR WIFE

Actually, do not pray at all! Wake up and go about your business as though you own your destiny. Do not commit your ways and indeed your wife’s to God. Do not submit her under the cover of God and do not even pray for her health and her endeavors. Pray only for food and for the traffic jam to move faster when you are late for work. But your family and especially your wife, say nothing. Nothing at all.

2. Do not LEAD YOUR FAMILY

Do you know that verse that says the husband is the head of the family just as Christ is the head of the Church? It’s in Ephesians 5:23. Do not read it. Do not even dare have a vision for your family. Just sit there and let your wife make all the decisions for your family. You have the T.V there, right? You buy your newspaper, right? Good! Put your feet on the table and sift through the channels as your wife keeps wondering where the family is headed. And if she dares ask you directly, swiftly sink into the nothing box and stay there. For very long.

3. Do not LISTEN TO HER AND BE RUDE

This is the place you let your ego inflate to bursting point. Do what you want and do not listen to her at all. You are married right? Let loose. Let go! Do all the obnoxious think you can think of. Don’t blow your nose, do not shower, do not even brush your teeth. Just-don’t. And when she complains that she is uncomfortable and that you are being inconsiderate, sing at the top of your voice and completely ignore her. She will get the message.

If she gets sad and appears sulky, do not ask her what is going on. Ask her after three days, and even then, just do it to clear your conscience. If she is reluctant to speak after one second, go and finish watching news. Who knows, the world might be ending tomorrow and you need to be informed! If you hear her crying silently, walk out. Or start singing. Just do something to make sure she knows you are ignoring her. This one works wonders.

4. Do not TELL HER THAT YOU LOVE HER

Have you seen that photo of an old guy and his wife? Oh, you haven’t? Let me narrate it to you. So this old lady is knitting and she casually tells the husband, ” You do not tell me you love me anymore, what happened? “. The husband casually replies, “I told you the first time. If that changes, I will tell you”!

Ahaa, I see you nodding in recognition. That’s the one I was talking about. Now, this one is classic! Practice it every day. Do not tell her that you love her at all. Let the one you told her when you married her suffice. Let her know by your words and actions that you do NOT love her. Or that you don’t care. If you want your marriage to head to the rocks, this is the shortest route!

5. Do not TRUST HER

This is the part where you snoop around her phone and Kiderorise any man who comes within 100 meters of her radius. Let her know that you don’t trust her and do not let her go anywhere without you. Follow her to the kiosk, the supermarket and the salon. And if you can’t stop her from working, tap her phone and make a big fuss when she comes home in the evening.

There is more. And I totally hope you will not follow any of it.

Love your wife as Christ loved the Church. Be nice to her, constantly assure her that she still is the hottest chick in the world and in all you do, do not have a “So you can sulk, I can sulk too!” emotional competition!

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Be THE MAN!! Much love, Benard Kamana ❤ !